I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
