im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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