East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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