your room smells of hookers.
And success
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Randomize
