in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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