at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Randomize
