If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
