Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
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You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
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Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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