you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
