Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
