then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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