nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
