it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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