She is in my trunk
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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