Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He felt like a one man threesome
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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