She's JV to your varsity
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Can't talk, ducks in the car
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
