After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
The air was thick with penises
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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