Where did you get a picture of my penis
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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