That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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