Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
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Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
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Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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