We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
it's like heaven, but drunker
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
This is my gift to your gina
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
