why didn't you poke me back
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Randomize
