He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
