Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
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