remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Dear god my vagina.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
