I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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