you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
