hotel room ftw
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
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