you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
