I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
