last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
