bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
