I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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