your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Randomize
