You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
