just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
he shaved USA in his pubs
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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