I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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