ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
