ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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