she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
