Can Purell be used as lube?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
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