im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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