My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
