There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
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im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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