Will you blow on my dice?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
