you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
