I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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