I would go down on you faster than GM stock
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
