Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
