also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
