Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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