he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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