DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
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