____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
