you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize