I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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