Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
