im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize