My hair reeks of homosexuality.
My cat gives me a boner
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
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