We named our party play list daddy issues
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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